I am not a traditional Indian guy. I somewhere in between.i love jagjeet singh as much as cold play, maybe a little more. And when it comes to deciding whether I am a die hard atheist,I feel the scared puppy whining inside of me. So when it came upon deciding whether dhoti would do some justice to my wannabe dual personality, I did not know the real repercussions. Well let me put it straight, its beyond what you see and feels funnier than a lungi.
Today was the inauguration- Grih-Pravesh of our new house and I was in the waiting line for sitting for the ceremony as ,y father had nagging pain in his knee. So I got all excited to try the dhoti. Well its one thing coming all gloriously naked infront of your parents once you were a kid, but completely embarrassing even in your boxers at this post pubic stage. So my test began the second my I stepped out of my shower and the first question my dad asked me-have you got your underwear on?- hmmm let me guess, I think this must be the second most embarrassing moment. the most embarrassing was soon to follow. So I threw my towel covering my shame as my dad demopstrated the nuances of tying a dhoti. It somehow wrapped itself around me looking fairly sober.but the problem happened when I turned to observe myself in the mirror. I was ,without moment’s doubt, looking like the teenage girl trying saree for the first time. With the graceful tuck of the well folded dhoti, I found it difficult to even move my legs.i had to move my legs in diagonals so I could avoid a impending fall by stepping on it.
My mom simply disapproved me of the style in which I was wearing the dhoti. I was immediately ordered to strip and wrap it up again spank in the middle of the drawing room with three others observing me under a microscope.well this time ,it indeed made me look a little better and I felt my legs could feel their lungs once again.i trooped outside with an arm length of errands and time running short for the ceremony to begin. Its once thing wearing a dhoti, but who on earth drives wearing one? Just picking my dhoti up and care fully putting it in the car made me feel like a queen Elizabeth in her dressing gown on Halloween. Stretching my legs I somehow reached the pedals. The hunt for a simple bamboo stick took us deep into a place where the whiteness of my dhoti was endangered,but I had a point to prove. Somehow I pulled out a long bamboo stick by with holding on to my dhoti with my dear life.
i was aware of the eyes fixed on me who were not only curious what was i doing dressed like babu-moshai.
Even before my babmboo hunting was over,i was ordered to get 100 roshogollas.not that i was feeling any less of a bengli already but i was feeling a little sympathetic to their daily uncomfort.i just needed to learn to chew paan and spit it on roadside to prove my tranformation from rajput to bengali. i again ninja hopped onto my
car and managed to avoid any road accidents. now as soon as i stepped out of my car i felt a little light. i was finally getting a hang of driving with dhoti,and getting out of the car like a model wearing a mini skirt,unlike my legs apart in all its alpha manliness. the best part is the feeling of breeze under there, its like you finally realize the nerve ending getting breath of fresh air. but this time it seemed i had bargained for just a little more than required freedom. my dhoti cam off. spank in the middle of the road which was overlooking a market place. i went cold,but hey, i am cool guy how can i let everyone know that i fucked up. not acting alarmed,which i was, carefully picked my leftover embarrasment and simply tucked the damned thing like towel.I could not afford to look people in the eye,so i simply focused on distant object. i could see the shopkeeper who had sold me the jokeys admire the product with an smirk and a wink. damn, so much for the experiment…
the temptation was high to simply throw the damn thing away. admission of defeat when you have been accused of beaing careless is too much of a price. i stayed on with the brave ace and did finally manage to win just enough compliment. the ceremony went smoothly and as i was about to step in the car, my uncle comes and whispers me-“you know you look good in dhoti. but whats with the style which bares half of you undies from behind, some new style..?”
someone..please kill me.